Love or loathe weddings
Even though I know this is a sentiment not shared by everyone, I love weddings. All weddings are special, and being sentimental, I shed a tear regardless of how well I know the couple. I also dedicate myself to enjoying the event to the utmost.
When it’s your own child getting married
When the green light goes on in your own family, it is normal to feel a little apprehensive, especially as Mother of the Groom. According to the doomsday sayers, as I gushed my excitement at the upcoming nuptials, I would have as much importance as fly larvae when it came to to the actual event. I was advised to dress accordingly, (beige being the colour of choice apparently) and I best accept that the wedding is the exit song for my son, from our family. He would be absorbed into hers and we would no longer exist.
A double family event
Much to my relief, this was not so, the bride and her mother made it clear from the outset that we were in this together. What a joyous process it was, starting a year ago and culminating in the gorgeous event last weekend.
Weddings can be overwhelming
Old fashioned, and silly, as it seems now that it all over, one can understand why it could be an intimidating family event. I’m just really thankful that this wasn’t, but I hasten to add, that was no accident, it took a team approach.
Important to keep expectations real
Not all weddings match up to the key players, (or their parents) expectations. To me, nothing is sadder than palpable disappointment of the most important people when their wedding expectations are not delivered.
This was certainly not our experience. After all, half the happy couple is my beloved firstborn, and the other half is a girl we all love and respect, and cannot imagine not being part of our family. So how could this not be the best wedding ever?
Weddings should be about the couple
On the surface one would assume weddings are personal, centred on the two people who are, in essence, committing to a foreseeable future together.
Often, like pregnancies, weddings, long before the event, are played out in the public arena. This seems to imply that everyone feels free to offer their unsolicited advice on key decisions like how many guests, choice of dress, menu and the seating plan.
Wedding wreckers
Social media is littered with evidence of what can go wrong on the day, and there is a mind numbing dearth of reality shows on the wedding theme be it a search for a dress, a partner or the cheapest wedding possible. It would seem, that weddings can be a minefield of bloated expectations and unrealistic pressure.
Secrets to wedding success
So how did these two young people pull off something so successfully? It was not something that they handed over to the parents with a list of instructions. They rolled up their sleeves, rallied their huge network, which included both families, and got cracking as soon as the engagement ring was settled on her finger.
Maturity and a clear idea were a perfect blueprint
As fun loving as they both are, they have been in a relationship for a decade which has gently matured to this point of commitment. These are two creative, individual thinkers with clear ideas of what they wanted. Both are strong leaders, centred in their families and friendship groups. Their all- inclusive attitude made the planning and execution of this wedding loads of fun.
Getting the wedding framework right
A great starting point was their choice of venue, Crystal Barn Country Estate, situated in the picturesque Midlands of KwaZulu- Natal. This eclectic venue on a breathtaking stretch of water lent itself perfectly to their romantic bohemian theme.
Their over arching aim was to focus the enjoyment of the day on their guests, and not themselves. Once the ceremony was done they wanted everyone to relax and savour the whole experience.
Trusting the professionals and not micromanaging
They entrusted the mechanics of their special day to the most professional and creative service providers they could find, who best understood their needs and then trusted them to get on with their briefs.
A whole blog post could be dedicated to the magic of having a bespoke dress designed for her, it was an enchanted journey, and the results were beyond spectacular.
Little snags do not break a great event
It was a perfect day, that’s not to say there weren’t little glitches, but so quickly dealt with, we never noticed. The bride was breath- stopping beautiful. I know, I saw my son’s jaw drop as she glided through the forest to the canopy where the ceremony took place.
Everything rolled out, according to plan, in a seamless ribbon of delight. The food was delicious, the venue spectacular, the band a delight, and all managed surreptitiously by a fabulous wedding planner.
Weddings are not about the weather
The one factor we had no control over was the weather, I’m relieved to say it behaved, we had plan B anyway. The only speech that was drowned out by a brief, but violent thunderstorm storm, was my own. (part of me is convinced that it was channeled by a malevolent relative, glaring at me throughout my valiant attempt to share my thoughts, as it stopped as soon as I did.) It didn’t matter it added a little drama, and we handled it with mirth.
Wedding weeps are normal
I still cried, I wasn’t alone, but that was pure joy and pride of these wonderful humans. With no trace of bias, I think this has to be my favourite wedding ever.
Now I’m Mrs … senior
Of course, a child getting married does come with some adjustments, for me this is the repositioning of myself in the life cycle. As much as I don’t see myself as the older generation, I guess now I am the senior Mrs.
Has anyone else noticed, they really don’t play that much eighties music at weddings anymore, just enough, to reassure us we haven’t atrophied completely.
brenfinding5th.com 