The two weeks since my last post, have been a whirlwind of activity, as we celebrated iconic family moments. Two family birthdays, one of them a milestone, followed by the lead- up ceremonies, namely a Kitchen Tea and a Hen’s party, followed by the Bachelor Weekend, as we enter the final homestretch to beloved, first born son’s wedding in March.
Why celebrate
In my family, we have always celebrated everything, the last few weeks have reaffirmed for me, why these rituals and acknowledgements are so important.
A chance to reconnect
Naturally, each event has required a lot of planning, organising and sheer hard work in some cases. It has also been the perfect excuse for gathering the family clan, not to mention friends, and reaffirming our connection to each other.
We’re a big family, spread the breadth and length of the country. For some members it has meant fine tuning logistics of flights and accommodation booking. All exhausting but exciting and exhilarating at the same time.
Reflects to our loved one’s how important they are
What is important here, is that each celebration was put together with such enjoyment and love. I like to think each event was tailored to the individual needs, and tastes of the people we were celebrating. And therein lies the importance of marking occasions. It reflects back to the central people in our lives, that they are loved and treasured. They are worth the fuss.
Simple or Grand-it’s the thought that counts
It doesn’t always need to be lavish, some of my family hate that. It does need to be thoughtful, even a simple celebration needs to tell the other person they are the focus, because we value them.
Make the celebration fit the person it is intended for
Some people seem to have a natural knack for organising caring celebrations, regardless of age.
A special friend has raised two daughters who instinctively plan beautiful celebrations for her birthdays. It’s often a surprise gathering, with the emphasis on tasteful, refined and fun. The invite list is small, select, and restricted to the people who are close to her. This friend is a warm, gregarious soul, but loves to socialise in her own space, with people who mean the most to her. They nail it every time.
The chief bridesmaid is another one who pinned it down exactly. Her ability to listen to the bride, read between the lines, and her determination to plan the tea and evening events according to what the bride would enjoy, made for a very successful day. She made it about the bride, because she treasures her friendship.
The sibling who celebrated a ‘big’ birthday wanted a simple gathering of her family, for dinner in a beautiful spot.She didn’t need the speeches, she needed the effort. It was heart- warming to hear her say, when the evening ended, “That is exactly what I had in mind.”
Of course not everyone has the desire, or the money for large celebrations. That’s fine, a simple loving gesture is often enough.
Find reason’s to celebrate every day
You don’t have to wait for a big event to celebrate either.
A friend in Australia, celebrates her joy of living, every day. She often finds her reason to celebrate in the natural world around her. A sensational sunset, an unusual stone, a gorgeous plant. She shares her exuberance with a photo and beautiful words. Her simple joy is infectious, inspiring, and makes our, often toxic, environment more tolerable.
Nothing can be more wounding than something important to you not being acknowledged, by your nearest and dearest. If you are surrounded by people who don’t value marking occasions, with a celebratory gesture, the ability to turn inward and find ways to celebrate those moments for yourself, can be an emotional saving grace.
Our memories are a vital part of our celebrations
In our fifth decade, most of us are now well aware that, life is transitory. As painful as it is to celebrate an occasion, knowing dear and familiar faces will never be there to celebrate with us again, it is also comforting to think back on all the birthdays, weddings, births when they were there. It adds a layer of enrichment as we reminisce.
In my family we have a rich and deep memory vault, because the two important people that are no longer here, knew how to celebrate the grand, and the humble, occasions that form our everyday lives. We keep them with us by remembering their joy of celebrating.
Make memories for future generation
I fully intend to keep doing just that, not just for me but for my children and the generations to come.
brenfinding5th.com 