Keep Christmas expectation realistic
Five days ago, I hopped onto a plane, and winged my way to Durban to join extended family for Christmas festivities. I was a little anxious, Christmas doesn’t always mirror our family expectations.
Christmas is hard work
As always, the three days leading up to Christmas itself were a frenzied scramble for last minute gifts, and an exhausting amount of food preparation. Humour, delegation, and frequent breaks to refuel with refreshments made it manageable and pleasurable.
Family celebrations make precious memories for decades to come
The day itself, was a wonderful unfolding of precious moments beyond our thoughtful gifts.
It was a day of laughter, great food, games, and nostalgic moments including my sister’s mince pies that looked, and tasted, just like my mother’s.
Christmas is about blending the past and embracing the new.
There was an inevitable sense of things changing as the younger generation took charge of the hosting, including food preparation, table décor and the enormous task of cleaning up. Most of us embraced this, it is a rite of passage and proof that somehow we have raised amazing young adults.
As we gathered around in the evening, the guests having departed, we agreed that this had been a successful day of celebrations. The food was delicious, the weather held (always a gamble in Durban), and we had no negative family dynamics.
We even coped with the empty seats, some permanent and others temporary, around our festive table.
Post Christmas/ Pre New year- where the real magic of Christmas lies
Despite the success, I think we all woke up the morning after with a faint sense of relief.
No facing down ridiculous shop queues, no more wrapping, and no agonising whether we had left enough time to cook the perfect, triple- roasted duck fat potatoes before the turkey was ready.
For me, the days between Christmas and the new year, feel like a perfect gift in themselves.
As far as I am concerned this is when the holidays really begin. It’s a reprieve before we start thinking about the challenges of the next year.
A mental disconnection from our expectations of Christmas
I could use this time to torture myself with a host of questions. What if anything, should we do for New Year? How am I going to balance all the trips we have planned with running my new business, and still keep up the hectic pace of visiting Durban every six weeks to spend time with family.
On the 26th of December, my brain automatically switches to vacation mode, and the body, with a sigh of relief, is quick to follow.
Taking a break from the self-imposed regimens that rule my waking hours
This nugget of time is a real blessing. It just doesn’t seem that important that the house be kept in control with seemingly endless bouts of mopping and sweeping.
Maybe it’s sheer exhaustion, or maybe it’s the relief of having pulled something off with no family feuding, whatever it is, all responsibility seems suspended.
So what if the laundry basket overflows like the magic porridge pot. Is anyone really going to object to leftover mince pies for breakfast, because I haven’t restocked the grocery cupboard? If they do, do I care?
Indulge yourself post Christmas
It’s time for nostalgic re-runs of “Bridget Jones Diary” or ‘Love Actually’ no matter how the family cynics react.
Who really cares if the floor is covered in a layer of foliage from the drooping Christmas tree?
Is an unmade bed really the end of the world, if you lose yourself in the delights of that fresh pile of books you found under the Christmas tree?
Right now the answer is no, everything can wait. The sun is shining, the sky is blue and the end of the year will be here soon enough.
It’s time to put my feet up, put into practice all those tips from the experts on making space for myself.
This is what works for me
- Watching re- runs of favourite movies or silly series that have others in the family raising their eyebrows.
- Reading, everything.
- Walking in beautiful spaces
- dreaming on my swing chair with my view of Table Mountain
- Free writing- whatever comes into my head, even if it makes no sense.
- Time with my dogs, they have no expectations of me at all
- Scented candles and aroma oil burners
- Time in my garden
- Time in the bush
- observing people, I find them endlessly fascinating
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